Abstract: 驱动我前进的两股力量——信任与质疑。第二股更强，我把它叫做黑色生命力。

有人问我：是什么让你一直拼？

对我来说，有两股力量在推我往前走。一股是有人非常信我，另一股是有人非常怀疑我。

第二股更强。它不温柔，也不体面，但极其有效——我把它叫做黑色生命力。

它不是怨恨，也不是逞强。它更像一个转化器：当别人用偏见看我，我不辩解，我把那份否定直接转化成执行力，用结果作答。这有点像基督山伯爵——只是我要复仇的对象不是人，而是偏见本身。

质疑常常不是评估，而是投射

我在学习和工作上转向过很多次。每一次转向，都会有人说：”你凭什么？”“你不是科班。”“你怎么又换方向？”

后来我想明白了：在没有认真看过你到底做成了什么之前，质疑基本只有两类。一类是内行对外行的 gatekeeping——”你不属于这里”；另一类是不懂的人对另一个同样不懂、但敢于尝试的人的否定——本质上是用他自己的能力上限去近似你的能力上限：”我做不到，所以我不相信你能做到。”

这两种声音都很难被说服，因为它们不是逻辑问题，而是身份和投射的问题。

所以我不再争论。

我最强的能力：快速进入，然后死磕到做成

我不是一开始就厉害的人。但我很清楚自己最强的地方是什么：我能迅速切入一个新领域，再靠极强的死磕能力，把自己从草台班子一路推进到能打硬仗、能交付、能解决真问题的水平。

面对同一个问题，很多人觉得麻烦就绕开了。但一个目标一旦在我这里被锁定，麻烦就从障碍变成我必须拆掉的东西。再难我也会把它啃下来——不是因为我更聪明，而是因为我愿意死磕到底。

所以我后来想通一件事：质疑不用在语言上赢——它应该被转化成推动我往前走的力量。我不用解释我可以，我只需要把事情做成。

我经历过的几次转向，和那些偏见

我把一些经历写下来，不是为了诉苦，而是想说明：黑色生命力不是一句口号，而是一条被反复走过、反复验证的路径。

大学：不合群，但开始自学真正想学的东西

大学时我成绩并不好，因为我对本专业的内容并不感兴趣。我想要更 analytical 的方向，于是开始翻墙自学、自己找资料、自己写代码，一点点啃下来。

在很多同学眼里，这挺另类，甚至有点”不自量力”。但那时候我非常确定两件事：我想进步，而且我愿意为它吃苦。

2018–2023：搜广推 NLP，产出很多，但仍有人拿”标签”质疑我

2018 年我进入搜广推方向，一直做到 2023 年末。这段时间我做了很多事，也有很多可以量化的结果和产出。

但与此同时，也一直有人质疑我：你不是”正统”的 NLP / CS 背景。

这段经历让我越来越明确：标签不是能力，叙事不是结果。 世界最终认的，是你能不能把事情推进、能不能交付、能不能解决问题。

2024 年 7 月：开始创业，第一次大规模面对”非技术质疑”

2024 年 7 月我开始创业。这次的质疑不再只是”你技术行不行”，而是融资、销售、管理、组织、圈子——几乎所有非技术维度。

我承认：我当时并没有完全准备好。但我也越来越确信，”完全准备好”这件事并不存在——尤其是在创业里，你永远是在条件不完备的情况下往前推。

我能做的，不是等到万事俱备，而是保持开放，承认不足、持续学习、把每一步都推进到位。

2025 年：重心拉回机器人方向

2025 年我把重心重新拉回机器人方向。它并不是我第一次接触——早在 2017 年我就在 Berkeley DeepDrive 的无人车研究里做过一段时间；只是这一次，我选择更系统、更长期地投入。

我不怕承认不懂，我怕的是把经验当资格证。我更相信真正重要的是：学习速度、韧性，以及把问题死磕到解决的决心。

写给也曾被质疑的你

下次再有人质疑你，我建议你先做一件事：回头看看你已经做成过的事。你的证据链就在你自己身上。

质疑可以变成燃料，但不要让它变成日常消耗——别把不相信你的人放在需要高频共处的位置，那会让你的能量被花在”证明”上，而不是”推进”上。

我是一个 ego 不大的人，但黑色生命力非常强。我跌倒过很多次——很多人碰到类似的困难，可能就很难再站起来了，但我每一次都站起来了。这也是我最确定的一点：我会继续站起来。

我现在想找的同行者

我现在更愿意和这样的人一起做事：

  • 自驱力强
  • 想进步
  • 有死磕能力
  • 基础好，或者已经做过功课，让我能看到他快速成长的轨迹

因为我越来越相信：长期来看，世界会奖励那些真正把事情做成的人。

如果你感同身受，欢迎聊聊：rex@pathon.ai

Dark Resilience: Turning Doubt into Fuel

Abstract: Two forces push me forward—trust and doubt. The second is stronger. I call it dark resilience.

Someone once asked me: what keeps you going?

Two forces, really. Some people deeply believe in me. Others deeply doubt me.

The second one is stronger. It isn’t gentle, it isn’t graceful, but it works—I call it dark resilience.

It isn’t resentment, and it isn’t bravado. Think of it as a converter: when someone looks at me through a lens of bias, I don’t argue. I convert the denial into execution and let the results do the talking. A bit like The Count of Monte Cristo—except my revenge isn’t aimed at a person, it’s aimed at the bias itself.

Doubt is often not assessment, it’s projection

I’ve pivoted many times in my studies and career. Every pivot brings the same voices: “What makes you qualified?” “You don’t have the pedigree.” “Why are you switching directions again?”

Eventually I realized: when people haven’t actually looked at what you’ve done, their doubt tends to fall into two buckets. One is insiders gatekeeping outsiders—”you don’t belong here.” The other is people who haven’t done it dismissing someone else who’s willing to try—they use their own ceiling to approximate yours: “I can’t, so I don’t believe you can either.”

Neither voice is persuadable, because these aren’t arguments about logic—they’re arguments about identity and projection.

So I stopped arguing.

My strongest ability: enter fast, then grind it out

I didn’t start out impressive. But I’ve always been clear about where my strength sits: I can drop into a new field fast, and then, through sheer stubbornness, push myself from amateur to someone who can fight hard battles, ship, and solve real problems.

Most people route around a problem when it looks like a hassle. Once a goal is locked in for me, the hassle stops being an obstacle I avoid and starts being one I have to dismantle. However hard it gets, I’ll chew through it—not because I’m smarter, but because I’m willing to grind to the end.

What I eventually learned: you don’t beat doubt with words. You convert it into forward momentum. I don’t need to explain that I can. I just need to make it happen.

A few of my pivots, and the biases that came with them

I’m writing these down not to vent, but to show that dark resilience isn’t a slogan—it’s a path I’ve walked, and re-walked.

College: out of step, but starting to self-teach what I actually wanted to learn

My college grades weren’t great—I wasn’t interested in my major. I wanted something more analytical, so I jumped the firewall to self-study, hunted down materials, wrote code, and chewed through it one piece at a time.

To many classmates, this looked eccentric—even a little delusional. But I was sure of two things: I wanted to grow, and I was willing to pay for it.

2018–2023: search, ads, recs, NLP—plenty of output, still labeled

From 2018 through the end of 2023, I worked in search, ads, recommendations, and NLP. I shipped a lot, with quantifiable results to back it up.

And still, people kept saying: you don’t have the “proper” NLP/CS background.

That stretch crystallized something for me: labels aren’t ability, and narrative isn’t results. What the world ultimately rewards is whether you can push things forward, ship, and solve problems.

July 2024: starting a company, meeting “non-technical doubt” at scale

In July 2024 I started my own company. This time the doubt wasn’t about whether I could build—it was about fundraising, sales, management, organization, network, almost every non-technical dimension.

I’ll admit it: I wasn’t fully ready. But I’ve also become more and more certain that “fully ready” doesn’t exist—especially in a startup, where you’re always moving forward under incomplete conditions.

What I can do isn’t wait until everything is in place. It’s stay open, own what I lack, keep learning, and push every next step all the way through.

2025: pulling focus back to robotics

In 2025 I pulled my focus back to robotics. It wasn’t my first time in the field—I’d done a stint at Berkeley DeepDrive on autonomous driving research back in 2017. But this time I chose to commit more systematically and for the long haul.

I’m not afraid to admit I don’t know something. What I’m afraid of is mistaking experience for a credential. What I trust more: learning speed, resilience, and the determination to grind a problem until it’s solved.

For anyone else who has been doubted

Next time someone doubts you, do this first: look back at the things you’ve already made happen. Your evidence chain lives on you.

Doubt can become fuel, but don’t let it become daily wear and tear—don’t keep people who don’t believe in you in positions where you have to live next to them. That drains your energy into proving instead of progressing.

My ego isn’t big, but my dark resilience is. I’ve fallen many times—plenty of people, hit with the same setbacks, wouldn’t get back up. I have, every time. And this is the thing I’m most certain of: I’ll keep standing up.

Who I want to build with now

These days I prefer to work with people who are:

  • self-driven
  • hungry to grow
  • willing to grind
  • solid on fundamentals, or have already done the work to show fast growth

Because I believe, more and more: in the long run, the world rewards the people who actually make things happen.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you: rex@pathon.ai